Be careful what you say, it might get published

For one of my classes I was reading about clear writing. Wish is basically write what you mean. Now I too have wrote something And than read it later and realized my mistake but here are some that got published in my textbook and they are quite funny. This is property of AXIA University all but enjoy!
Once your body gets cold, the rest of you will get cold, too.
Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? Asked by airport security

From actual doctors files.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

After he removed the trash from the pool, the children played in it.
He brushed his teeth on the carpet,
She wiped up the water with her younger brother.
Enjoy all! Hope it gives you a good laugh!!
Jessica